So you’re awesome on the mic, your tune selection is second to none, your lights are DMXed to within an inch of their life and the dancefloor is full. Happy days! And then you see it: slowly, waveringly, slack-jawed and bleary eyed. Staggering toward you. It’s a guest, and they want to talk. You’re going to have to deal with this person!
We have to be good at selling ourselves to potential clients over the phone, via e-mail, online and face-to-face but a lot of DJs fall short when it comes to actually dealing with the public during gigs. If you’re doing your job properly and actually care about your clients, you’ll be getting feedback from them throughout the night, making sure they’re having fun and enjoying the music.
No friends, this one is going to focus on the more nuanced dealings with the guests and family members who can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Much of the time the thing that decides which of these they are is how you react to them. What I’m going to do with this article is address some of the most common conversations and interactions you might come across with a member of the usually inebriated public and suggest strategies for how to deal with the situation effectively.
DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying what I’m about to share is fool-proof, because you can never assume a logical outcome when dealing with someone who is illogical, either through drink or their own sense of self-importance. But through all the weddings, family celebrations and corporate events that I’ve played at, these strategies have never done me wrong.
Before we begin, some key strategies: give them some rope, be assertive, and bring them into your space if you can. When they come to the front, beckon them round to the side, put a hand on their shoulder to create a physical connection while maintaining a boundary, and say, “Sorry, I have earplugs in and I can’t hear people out front, what can I do for you?”
Scenario 1: The Oddball Request This is probably the most common issue any mobile DJ is likely to face. Your client loves genre A, the crowd is lapping up genre A and then someone comes up and says: “This music is **** play some genre B” , but know genre B ain’t going to work. There’s a bunch of ways to deal with this: “Well everyone is dancing to it….” This is too passive and gives them an opening to overrule you: “Yeah but if you play my tune they’ll like it more…” or “I don’t care, this is rubbish put a good tune on.” “Nah that’s not going to work.” You’re instantly encouraging conflict with this reply, you’re giving them no rope.
If you’re assertive and can control the conversation your best approach is bringing them onside with something along the lines of: “That’s a really cool request” or “Chic, man I love Chic, have you ever seen them live? They’ve amazing.” If it’s an artist you know particularly well you can up the ante: “Mate I love the Stereophonics, not got into their newer stuff but I must have listened to ‘Performance and Cocktails’ a million times back in the day.” Or “Y’know, I’d love to drop some of that stuff but the client is wanting stuff like this… ” Use your body – wave your hand towards the (hopefully bouncing) dancefloor to re-iterate that what you’re playing is actually working.
Even if you don’t know anything about the music they’re asking for, my personal favourite once I’ve got them on board is: “Mate if I had it my way we’d be listening to nothing but Floyd and Springsteen tonight but this is what they’re asking for… Is there anything else a bit more like the stuff I’m playing you like?” quiet, or that you’re doing too much or too little talking, you’re giving them plenty of opportunity to address this during the gig, not afterwards when they want to leave a crap review or tell everyone how you did X and didn’t do Y.
But dealing with clients is for another article. No friends, this one is going to focus on the more nuanced dealings with the guests and family members who can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Much of the time the thing that decides which of these they are is how you react to them. What I’m going to do with this article is address some of the most common conversations and interactions you might come across with a member of the (usually inebriated) public and suggest strategies for how to deal with the situation effectively.
DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying what I’m about to share is fool-proof, because you can never assume a logical outcome when dealing with someone who is illogical (either through drink or their own sense of selfimportance) but through all the weddings, family celebrations and corporate events that I’ve played at, these strategies have never done me wrong. If anyone asks me about getting good on the mic my first bit of advice is to practice speaking clearly, however my second piece of advice is to practice what you’re saying.
I’ve got ‘scripts’ for everything from the first dance to the buffet opening to when I have to drop that uber cheesy ‘must play’ . Dealing with Joe Public is pretty much the same – if you have a good idea about what to say and how to approach the most common situations then you’re primed and can hit the ground running instead of finding yourself flustered and unsure of what to say or how to deal with a situation. Before we begin – Some key strategies: Give them some rope: you always want the person to feel that they’re in control despite the fact that you’re the one running things.
Be assertive: there are three types of communication between people – assertive, aggressive and passive: – Assertive demands respect without overstepping boundaries – Aggressive makes you an enemy and target – Passive allows them to walk all over you ALWAYS be assertive. Bring them into your space if you can. I use a LiteConsole or Equinox booth and a good way to break down barriers with guests is, when they come to the front, beckon them round to the side.
Then put a hand on their shoulder to create a physical connection while maintaining a boundary and say, “Sorry, I have At this point you’re the good guy – you like cool music, you’ve not been an obnoxious DJ Prat that has just brushed them off and you’re trying to help them out but your hands are tied… 99.99% of the time that will placate even the most pedantic of requesters. Scenario 2: The Soon To Be Departed “Can you play ‘XYZ’? Our taxi is coming in 5 minutes?” We’ve all had it, it’s the punters passive way of trying to exert influence on us.
Now, if it’s early on or the tune is a genuine banger that will fit in then there’s nothing wrong with dropping it next but most of the time this isn’t the case. My token response, depending on how I gauge them and what I think their response will be, is: “I’d love to, but as soon as I do that everyone will be telling me their taxi is coming and I’ve to play their tune next.” With this you’re trying to help them out, but can’t, they should appreciate it and move on.
If they won’t then they’re being unreasonable and they’re not were loving and she came up and asked for ‘Bits ‘n’ Pieces’ . Totally not where I was planning on going for at least another hour but I was definitely going to play it later and a bunch of folk (including the bride and groom) had asked for some GBX type stuff. So I looped the end of whatever I was playing – I think it was some early Basement Jaxx – did a very melodramatic sigh and said: “Guys I was about to take you on a really cool funky journey but someoooooooone is going home and wants me to crowbar in their song before they go.” – big overdramatic shake of the head, remember body language is an essential part of what we do and backs up everything we’re saying. “Now I really don’t know if this is going to work but she asked nicely so I’m going to play it anyway…” I then dropped ‘Bits ‘n’ Pieces’ at an instantly recognisable cue point and the room went nuts!
Using a little bit of humour, I was able to work in the girl’s request (plus the half dozen or so other folk who asked for it) and do a total 180 on where I was with the music 10 seconds previous without losing any energy or bodies from the dancefloor. worth worrying about UNLESS it’s someone very close to the client. Other good options are: “Awww man am I that bad you’re ducking out early?” A bit of self-depreciating humour never did any one any harm and, again, gets them onside. “Sorry, I’m in the middle of a wee set here and your tune won’t fit, if you can hold on a bit I’ll try and get it in for you soon.” Again, you’re trying to help but making it clear that they won’t dictate to you how or when their music will be played.
Bear in mind that in all the times I’ve had this happen, literally only once has the client actually been truthful and had a taxi to catch… Don’t get caught up stressing about it and definitely don’t ruin the flow of your set to placate one person who appears to be leaving as soon as they’ve been fed! UPDATE: I actually had this happen on Friday night and the girl did have a taxi to catch, so make that twice. I was in the middle of a really cool funky house set the crowd PEOPLE POWER50 Scenario 3: The X Factor Hopeful This is one that every DJ will come across in one guise or another.
Here are my stock responses for some of the most common: “When does karaoke start?” “Ooft, I’ve not done karaoke since the dark old days when I was starting out!!! It’s just DJing I do now – I don’t even have the equipment or tracks for it nowadays.” “Give me the mic, I want to sing!” “MY £! I’m not even allowed to sing into it!!” “My aunt is really good, give her the mic.” “I’d love to, and I bet she’s cracking, but as soon as I let one person sing everyone wants a shot and it’ll ruin the night with rubbish singers!” “Give me the mic, I want to say something…” “I’ve been told that the bride and groom aren’t going to make any announcements and don’t want anyone to say anything either.
Sorry.” If they persist: “Yeah but I’m (insert relationship to the bride and groom) and I want to say a few words.” Then the right approach really depends on how close they actually are to the bride and groom. In the case of very close family or a member of the bridal party say: “Listen I’ll need to check first, I can’t just have someone I don’t know stopping the music to say something.” Then apologetically approach the bride or groom and explain the situation.
Nine times out of ten the answer will be a flat no, either because the person is going to be inappropriate, they’re absolutely hammered or both! (They often have previous form!!) If they’re not close family it’s a bit easier: “I’ve explained that they don’t want anyone to speak and if I let you do it then I’ll have a line of people wanting to talk, it’ll kill the night.” You’ve usually got to be pretty assertive with this kind of person, but there are ways to deal with it in a non-confrontational manner.
At the end of the day, the mic is yours, you maintain control of it on your terms. If I’m ever wary of people trying to get it and I need to move from behind the booth I simply slip it into my pocket and take it with me. Scenario 4: I’m A DJ Too Mate You’re knee deep in a brilliant mix and someone saunters up and gives it the “I’m a DJ too” chat. Depending on their tone my response is usually: “I use Virtual DJ too…” “Cool, you running 8?
I stuck with 7 for ages but 8 is a massive improvement.” That usually silences them due to running some old cracked version! “You should use [something that isn’t VDJ], it’s better than VDJ” “I’m just a wedding / birthday DJ mate, VDJ does way more than I need it to do.” Can’t argue with that can you? “Gis a shot mate, I’m a DJ too!” “Would love to mate but the client would go off on one, what sort of stuff do you play [then go off on a tangent about genres and gear].” This should help you to subtly deflect them from trying to have a shot on the decks. “I’m a DJ too, this music is s**t!” “Listen mate, it’s not my kind of thing either but it’s what they’ve asked for and they’re the boss…” The internet is awash with brags of DJs spitting back: “Oh really, why aren’t you working tonight then?” , “Can’t be very good if they didn’t book you” and so on.
I call BS on that and if anyone is petty enough to respond in that way then they deserve to get hassled for a poor attitude even if the person is annoying to deal with! Scenario 5: The Budding DJ “Wow this stuff is really fancy. How long have you done this? How much did it cost?
I’m trying to get into DJing too. Can I have a shot? What are you going to play next?” ad nauseam. It doesn’t happen quite as often as scenario 4, but if you do this long enough you’ll come across someone who is either genuinely interested in DJing and impressed with what you’re doing or just fixated with the flashy lights.
If it’s someone who seems legit about getting into DJing I’ll have a chat with them, talk a bit about the gear, ask what sort of stuff they do and so on. A great technique is to ask them what they would play next. If it’s a banger, you drop it and you’re their hero for the night, if it’s rotten, you simply say, “Ooh nice choice, but I’d go with something more like this…” and play your own tune. I started out in bands and as a teenager it was always amazing to have someone, even in a dingy social club, give me five minutes of their time to show me their guitar rig or give me some tips.
There’s no reason why we shouldn’t have the good grace to do it when someone is looking up to us. If it’s someone who is just interested in the flashy lights you don’t need to go into the gear and whatnot, usually a “25,000 tunes on this Mac, sack carrying records around eh?” or pulling a quick loop or lopass on your controller is enough to send them off contented. I had one guy a while ago who had requested Born Slippy to the bride and groom and it had made the ‘must play’ list.
He came up just as I was playing my go to pre-Born Slippy banger and introduced himself. “Ah so you’re Dan? Nice to meet you mate – Cheryl told me about you. Do me a favour – ever so slowly turn that knob until it’s at noon.” Dan turns knob slowly, his pals have noticed he’s up pow-wowing with the DJ and in unison they all realise that Born Sllppy – DANNO’S CHOON – is starting to bleed through into the mix. DJ Dan got a wee minute in the spotlight, DJ Jim scored some serious brownie points and for the rest of the night the token lairy lads who can often cause problems with their requests were in awe of this legend of a DJ!
Scenario 6: What Do You Have? The heading says it all! This is usually followed by them trying to paw around your music folders. My response is: “It’s really hard to think of a tune on the spot isn’t it?
What genre or artist are you after? My Macs have 25,000 tunes on them, you’ll be here all night going through them so if you don’t know what you’re after go and have a think about what you want and come and see me when you’ve thought of one.” Simple! Scenario 7: Can You Play This? (Waving Phone In Your Face) My stock response is: “I don’t have any way to plug a phone in to my gear.” This is almost true in my case. However I have made it work on the odd occasion for something really obscure I can’t get on the spot (usually something foreign for international clients) when I know it will really mean something to the client but by and large I try to cut it dead.
Another response could be the old “I’d love to but then everyone will want to plug a phone in” but that opens you up to “Yeah but we’ll not let anyone see us doing it. Go on…. Go on…” Scenario 8: The Aggressive Guest This is simply someone who threatens you for whatever reason. It has happened a few times in my career, and it’s when you REALLY need to be prepared.
You need to be the master of this situation and make quick snap decisions based on you, the aggressor, the client, the crowd and the venue. I’ve had a rugby player, who could have absolutely battered me stupid, grab me by the collar for not playing his request! Without missing a breath I snarled: “Get your hands off me or I’ll break your f***ing nose.” It wasn’t my most professional moment, but it did the trick. All of a sudden he’d just been having a laugh, he wasn’t serious about his request and asked if I wanted a drink!
If I’d bottled it and played his tune I’d have been his personal jukebox for the night. Other situations have unfolded slow enough that I’ve been able to take reactive measures before it got to the point they actually had their hands on me. One thing they all have in common is that as long as you’re assertive, confident and will stand up for yourself, they’ll usually back down. Lines that I’ve used over the years have included: “Have I been rude to you?
No, so why do you think it’s acceptable to be rude to me while I’m working?” “Sorry but why would I play your request when you’ve done nothing but be horrible to me?” “I don’t want to, but if you don’t give me peace I’m going to have to get security to ask you to leave.” “If you don’t stop hassling me I’m going to speak the bride and groom because you’re stopping me doing my job for them.” “I’ll stop the music, explain over the mic that you’re the reason why, pack my stuff up and let you explain to everyone why you’ve ruined the night… do you want to be that person?” None of these are particularly ideal, but they’re all better than getting into a physical confrontation or actually having to speak to security, bother the client or shut the night down.
Please bear in mind that the majority of my gigs are weddings at nice venues with a certain type of clientele, your approach if you play social club 18ths where everyone is full of coke and carrying knives will differ – although my suggestion would be to avoid gigs like that in the first place! Of course there’s a million and one nuanced scenarios you will come across at gigs and this is a very broad brush approach to the most common examples. However the crux of what I’m saying is that even the most experienced DJ will gain something from having a bank of strategies prepared for dealing with tricky clients instead of going in cold and hoping for the best!
