A full-time wedding DJ and master of ceremonies based in Hampshire, Alan Marshall has nearly 40 years of experience, and is currently focused on creating wedding entertainment that is engaging and driven by emotion. He is the Education & Training Officer for the National Association of DJs, having previously served as both a Branch and National Chairman. GOOD HABITS How Creating Can Propel Your Life & Business Forward This all started to change for me when I took my first workshop with my coach, mentor and, now, friend, Mark Ferrell as part of the Marbecca Method.
At the beginning of the workshop you had to stand in front of the class and deliver a short introduction, in this case a welcome to a wedding reception prior to introducing the bridal party. This was videoed and, once everyone had a go, each video was played back and Mark provided a critique as well as encouraging the room of delegates to also give feedback. What I saw on the screen was the biggest wake-up call I had ever received as a DJ. I could see in front of me how big the problem was, I was nowhere near as good as I had thought I was, in fact far from it!
I had developed bad habits in the way I stood, the way I talked and the clichéd phrases that I used far too often. For example, saying “Ladies & Gentlemen” once is fine, but I repeated it several times in just that short presentation! This, compounded with the lack of emotion in my voice, meant I clearly had a lot to work on, and that is a process that continues to this day. During the two days of that workshop and the subsequent years of attending others, with the help of a good coach, I was able identify those negative habits that were not only hindering my performance but also holding me back.
I truly believe when the bad habits are performance-based, you need to seek out a good performance coach! In fact for anything we do as DJs, a coach is essential if you wish to truly reach your potential. They will help you to recognise the bad habits you have developed and coach you towards improving your performance, which may be just subtle changes to improve on what you already do. A bad habit I used to have, and to a certain extent still need to monitor, is not listening properly to my clients.
The old saying – you have two ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion – was something I struggled with. I was always too eager to tell my potential clients all the great things I could do for them instead of listening to what they actually wanted! I have no doubt this has lost me work over the years. But how can we break the cycle of bad habits and create new positive habits?
I was recently in Las Vegas attending the Mobile Beat show and, amongst all the great seminars, the final keynote spoke specifically about this. Bryan Dodge, author of ‘The Good Life Rules’ , gave a presentation called ‘How Successful Businesses Think and Grow’ , in which he explained and expanded on the ‘21-day rule’ . The premise of the widely quoted 21-day rule is that to form a habit you need to repeat something daily 21 concurrent times. Bryan expanded on this by saying that, in his experience, you must continue to 66 days for the habit to become truly embedded.
Conversely, Bryan explained that, physiologically speaking, it takes at least 21 days to a month for your body to start to let go of a bad habit or an addiction. Though of course it can take your mind a lifetime to get away from the triggers, for instance wanting to smoke or eat chocolate etc. I realised that I had already proven this theory with creating a habit around regular exercise. In my article ‘Are You Fit Enough To DJ’ , which was published in the March/ April edition of Pro Mobile, I talked about my personal journey to wellbeing and part of that journey But let’s go back to basics; what is a habit?
The dictionary definition is as follows: • A recurrent, often unconscious, pattern of behaviour that is acquired through frequent repetition. • An addiction. So, let’s start with the first definition: an unconscious pattern. As I said at the beginning, the problem with habits – good or bad – is that most of the time we are unaware of them. They are things we have done for so long, sometimes on a daily basis, that most of the time we can’t even remember why we started doing things that way in the first place.
Now it’s important to point out, not all habits are bad. However, it can be useful to be able to make an honest assessment of them and identify negative habits that may be unhealthy or holding you back. how can we create good habits? Well, first of all it takes willingness to change and a recognition of the need to adapt. As a DJ I know that I need to continue to improve what I do to be relevant and remain desirable to my potential clients.
"As a DJ I know that I need to continue to improve what I do to be relevant and remain desirable to my potential clients" 63HOW CREATING GOOD HABITS CAN PROPEL YOUR LIFE & BUSINESS FORWARD HOW CREATING GOOD HABITS CAN PROPEL YOUR LIFE & BUSINESS FORWARD6464 involved creating good habits like daily walking and monitoring my diet. Something that I had not considered possible had become achievable because I had taken action and built a habit based on doing it consistently for 21 days.
Ultimately, this led to an addiction to well-being that has helped my life and business more than I ever could have imagined it would. Creating Healthy Habits As I moved forward towards my personal goal of a better lifestyle through exercise and diet, I discovered the negative impact of processed/refined sugar. Cutting back was something I initially found difficult but, using the 21 day rule, I was able to create a habit around taking sugar out of my tea and coffee.
Removing processed/refined sugar from our daily diet has many health benefits, but if – like me – you are trying to lose weight, understanding how your body uses the processed sugar you add to tea/coffee, or the sugar in those snacks we all love, really is essential. Processed sugar acts as an immediate source of energy. So, for those of us who want to lose a few pounds, rather than our bodies burning this instant sugar fuel fix, we want them to focus on breaking down and burning the meal we had earlier and turning that into energy instead of fat (or, even better, burning off some of the fat we already have stored!).
I know what many of you are thinking, “Alan’s talking about health again” , which may be true, but this principle can be used for anything that you are struggling with! By creating a good habit in place of a bad one. For instance, it could be for 21 days you avoid getting into negative conversations on Facebook! Without doubt, we all absorb positive and negative traits and attitudes from those we choose to surround ourselves with.
By not getting in to meaningless debates on Facebook, that time could be used more productively creating a habit to focus on the positive things in your life and business. You could use the time to read or listen to something that will help you grow, or you could focus on something like marketing or improving a process within your business. Defeating Procrastination and Self-Doubt Through Habit Anything is possible once you have the courage to take action and commit to creating a habit around it.
However, perhaps, like me, you have attended the Pro Mobile Conference in the past, or sat in a seminar at BPM or an association meeting, where a great wealth of ideas and information is passed to the attendees but then done nothing with it! What you failed to do, as I have also done many times, is to take action. You’ve probably intended to do something, but put it off as life got in the way. The problem is that action has a shelf life.
If you put something off initially, chances are you will never follow through with your intent. Bryan Dodge talks about ‘The Diminishing Intent Key’ and urges us to take decisive action on important things within 48 hours. In the book ‘The Five Second Rule’ Mel Robbins talks about how you can transform your life, work, and confidence with everyday courage. Basically, the principle is rather than procrastinate about doing something, just do it!
For example, if you feel tired and start talking yourself out of going for a run, simply count down 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – GO and make yourself put on your trainers and head out. Another example would be the stuff in the office you have been putting off 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – GO and just do it. It could be that phone call you have been putting off or the new venue you have been planning to visit but never seem to have the time! By creating habits using the 21- day rule and adopting a mentality of getting things done using the 5-second rule you can create new opportunities that could be life changing!
"action has a shelf life. If you put something off initially , chances are you will never follow through with your intent" Recommendations For Further Reading The Good Life Rules by Bryan Dodge with Matthew Rudy The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
